Saturday, March 11, 2006
im back
Posted at 11:01 am by Fartika
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Tuesday, September 13, 2005
in skew now.feeling sick n having slight headache.mayb because juz now in da bus i feel lk vomit!bluek!aniwae.lucky todae no drama.didnt pay any attention in IF.my eyesight goin wrong already.very blur.is lk end of da world for me.dying.grrr..
im no longer wrking in Guardian IMM.last sunday was my last day of wrk.n i tink im not goin to find a job coz of mr n miz.dey ask me from 23rd sept to 15 oct try not to wrk.coz i tink rehearsal will be evrydae!!hahax.actual day wud be 15th Oct.im nervous sia.wish me luck.hehex.
gotta stop.gotta continue my website.b4 that i wane share one song from kelly clarkson.da lyrics is soo meaningfull to me.Because of You.thank you.
Because of You.
I will not make
The same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break
The way you did, you fell so hard
I’ve learned the hard way
To never let it get that far
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you I am afraid
I lose my way
And it’s not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that’s weakness in your eyes
I’m forced to fake
A smile, a laugh, every day of my life
My heart can’t possibly break
When it wasn’t even whole to start with
I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt
Because of you I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don’t know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I’m ashamed of my life because it’s empty
Because of you I am afraid
Because of you
bye
Posted at 05:35 pm by Fartika
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Monday, September 12, 2005
ME(Fartika), Jannah, Nana & Julia!!at dance studio!!
Posted at 12:42 pm by Fartika
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Saturday, September 10, 2005
its fridae.n i didnt go to skew.lazy to get up.coz i dun feel lk goin to skew tis few days.but wen for GM meeting in skew.yesterdae i got a bad news.it give me a big bang.n im scare.scare i couldnt get through this.i kept quite wen i meet da ex-co.but thankx to hanisah,ummi n lu ayy.coz dey expect me to let out everything.n i let it out.didnt noe wat to do.
after meeting.wen out to city hall alone.yeah.wen to esplanade.had fun being alone.den after dat wen to lido.my gawd.i saw alot of cute guys.hahx.meet my second sis there wif my bro-in-law wif his n her frens.watch supercross the movie!!!rawk dude.!!!lurve it man!!i lurve da part where da girl do 360 degree soo PERFECT!!!inside da theater movie..funnie.9 cute guys is soo noisy.dey make noise wen aaron carter actually ride KTM bike.haha.n i almost laugh.
!!Super Cross The Movie!!
at lido,while waiting for my sis.saw rehan n frens.chit chat for awhile.long tyme sia nv c him since da passing out parade.den.while sitting,saw tis cute eurasian guy.he melt me sia.hehex.lurve wen he smile.okay shhsh.aniwae.my sis told me just now got one head n limb found behind orchard mrt.i was lk..huh?(blur in da face).but its true.but..who cares.damn.
i wane get new fcuking shoes!!high cut shoes!!.i wane change da image of me!!woohoo.aniwae aftdat hang out infront of hard rock cafe wif my sis's fren.had fun.but abit strange.dunnoe y.went for supper at bukit timah al-ameen.reach hm after midnite.
i cant wait wen my age is 18.coz i wane get liscence.bike!i dun care!!(wah lau.long way to go.haben reach 16 yet!!)bleah!!.hahax.
had fun.wif myself.but im worried wat gonna happen nxt.............
Posted at 01:13 am by Fartika
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Thursday, September 08, 2005
i admit im wrong.i admit i didnt open up coz its to hard for me to put it in wrds.n i scared it turns out to be different way.i didnt noe y i cried rite now.i regret.but y i feel tat way.life should go on.i'hv changed.tats it.thank u so much for everything.guess i should end now.i cant help it.its like im da wind blowing away.full stop.
wish i cud turn back tyme n paused da part i missed.
-ika-
Posted at 04:01 pm by Fartika
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wake me up wen september end.....
hey.i juz finish my IT phase test.in skew now.i almost give up wen im doin mt phase test.nid to assemble da CPU.at last i got C for that.phew.aniwae had a bad day juz now.my skirt torn.i mean torn abit.paiseh sia.but im happy.kerazy.
i haben been myself tis few days.guess i gotta slap myself now.i dunnoe.im soo weak in da month of september.soo wake me up wen it ends.
im listening to james blunt song.goodbye my lover.nice sia.i will post da lyrics later.guess tats all im gonna blog for todae.
James Blunt-Goodbye My Lover.
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
bubbye bubbly boobbly blog.
Posted at 02:50 pm by Fartika
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Tuesday, September 06, 2005
phew.at last my group finish da presentation of e-business.it goes reallie well.thankx to li ming n dominic.heex.todae no drama.hakim is sick at home.im glad got no drama.coz i dun intend to go.i intend to chilled later.woohoo.
ermm.bout yesterdae.i wane thankx to hanisah,azlini,imah & vani.for accompany me to east coast park.we had a great time.we went to have our lunch at komala's!!stupid me coz i actually dun reallie into komalas.they ate masala's dosai n i eat plain dosai.hahax.funnie.coz my first time eating there.so abit blur wen they actually tok about hindustan!.i was lk tasting da food n they were lk talking bout hindustan.hahx.blur.slenger seh.afterdat we wen n hang out at the breakers.it turn out to be da different way.i kept tinking bout him.suddenly my tears falls down my cheek.azlini too.its like sitting at da breakers wif da winds blows.da waves.da splash.da sun.its reallie nice feelings.n its lk sudden i keep tinking of him.i miz him.its true.its hard to leave dat place.i wish i cud turn back time.
todae.im in skool now.juz finish doin presentation.funnie.esp jeremy's group.do presentation lk doin some lelong pasar malam.cute sia he.slenger.his presentation nice sia.got flash summore.i wane learn how to do flash.
tis morning i wake up.my second sis wake me up.i got no idea from where she come sia.shocked.she came to my place early morning.hahax.no wonder.her stomach big sia.haha.cute lorz her stomach.lk as if got kangaroo inside.but is actually a baby.hahax.i tink she's gonna giv birth nxt mth.hopefully a boy.n i heard dey gonna name Danish Azmeer or sumtink...no idea.if a girl my idea wud be..Danisha Aleeya.hahx.cute.
since morning shasha kept asking for soya bean.no wonder she look lk one of the sumo's daughter.
ouhh dear.i miss him.i worried bout him.but im juz keeping quiet.i dunnoe wat to do.my mind is lk a blank piece of paper.i hate it.im not sure.i tink i will juz keep quiet.
bye.
Posted at 05:19 pm by Fartika
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Monday, September 05, 2005
Someday (I Will Understand)
[Verse 1:]
Nothing seems to be the way
That it used to
Everything seems shallow
God give me truth
In me
And tell me somebody is watching
Over me
And that is all I'm praying is that
Someday I will understand
In God's whole plan
And what he's done to me
Oh but maybe
Someday I will breathe
And I'll finally see
I'll see it all in my baby
[Verse 2:]
Don't you run too fast my dear
Why don't you stop?
Just stop and listen to your tears
They're all you've got
It's in you
You see somebody is watching
Over you
And that is all I'm praying is that
Someday you will understand
In God's whole plan
And what he does to you
Oh but maybe
Someday you will breathe
And you'll finally see
You'll see it all in your baby
You'll see it all in your baby
No moment
Will be more true
Than the moment
I look at you
It's in you
You see somebody is watching
Over you
And that is all I'm praying is that
Someday you will understand
In God's whole plan
And what he does to you
Oh but maybe
Someday you will breathe
And you'll finally see
You'll see it all in your baby
You'll see it all in your baby
You'll see it all in your baby
.....................................................................................
Posted at 12:18 pm by Fartika
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here i am again..im feeling soo lost.im not myself tis few days.im sick again.i wish im dying rite now.who cares aniwae!!guess wat..i'hv QUIT my JOB soon!!coz dey say if lack of people dey will called me.for goodness sake!!i rather QUIT rite!!im gonna b jobless soon.arrghh!!hate them alot!!fucking shit!!gonna find a new job soon.find a new environment,new people.im sick n tired of everything.
im sick again.i hate my cough.it's been lk 2 wks im havin cold fever n cough.its lk on n off on n off.arrghh!!shitty!!
last fridae i went for a model agency interview SSC wif zan.(thankx 4 accompany me aniwae).bimbo sia me.the lady interview me n asked me to become their model..i mean model for brides.n u nid to pay $288 bucks for tat photoshoot.damn it!!they asked me to become their model n asked me to pay.?fucking shit sia!!but is like $288 bucks include a bride dress + 24 photoshoots.n dat 24 shots will burn in a CD n give to other agency.aftdat go for another photoshoots n if they pay u 2K..u nid to keep 70% for urself n 30% give to agency.ha.i wonder how other models survive??.........
after da interview wen to fullerton.sat there till he meet his frens at 6.its raining drizzling.didnt go hm straight aftdat.went to mit nazreen at city hall.thankx to her.she make me feel better.coz i haben been myself for da past few days.thankx a billions lots..!!
on saturdae is totally a boring dae sia.even though i went to science center.coz im not in da mood to enjoy myself.its sux!!wen there wif my sis,my bro-in-law n my mom.we went in 4 free.hahx.didnt enjoy much actually.we watch ommi-max movie bout 'mystery of the nale'.bored.but i saw a cute guy there.melt.he's soo cute sia.ok ok.shhhsh.den in da evening went to wrk.im totally not in da mood to wrk.but who cares.im goin to quit soon!!woohoo!!
Sundae..i stayed at hm.all day long.soo sick.soo hurt.soo cold.but my sweater keep me warm all day long.i wrote my journal in this cute little heart shape bk.is where i dropped my feelings there.i cried.i dunnoe y.i feel lk i'hv lost something.someting i wished i wudn't wanne loose it.but i feel lk its slipping away.i ignored.but it hurts.listen to avril songs all day.didnt talk to anibody.not even my parents.im making myself invisible.i like!!
im gona get second warning letter soon!!i hate it sia.i hate skew.i'hv been absent alot of tyme tis few days.i dunnoe y i act tis way.second reason..i hv student council.soo hard sia being a general secretary.being a ex-coo.i tink im gonna failed tis semester.im soo lost.
i miss him badly.but i dun tink its use for me to miss him rite.im sorie...
wake me up wen september end.........
Posted at 10:22 am by Fartika
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Friday, September 02, 2005
i dunnoe how to put it in words....im sooo lost....
Posted at 10:48 am by Fartika
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